Five For Fridays

Normally I welcome Fridays except it's not my RDO AND I'm working tomorrow (on the rare occasions that I do!), so without further ado, bah humbug and bring on the Five For Fridays...

Q: My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?

A: Then the jig is up.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question, dipshit?

Q: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?

A: No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Q: My maternity nurse says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids leave home.

ODD SPOT: Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."

P.S: I knew Real Estate Agents were vicious, but...!!!