The Unamable

I spoke too soon with regards to Emma not outsmarting me with her ballistic bowels. Last night just as I placed a fresh Huggies underneath her little bottom she let loose with both barrels. Wees and poos were flying at me with determined precision and I was powerless to stop such an onslaught! Lill, my loving and faithful wife, did the only thing she could do – laugh at me! My only recourse for revenge, though is to recount many of these tales at Emma's 21st. And why not, it’s a dad’s perrogative!

On a more sombre note, I have finally learned the dark secret of where the ODD SPOTS are coming from. I've always had my doubts as to the validity of the contents of the ODD SPOTS, but...Oh the irony! Oh, to seek the forbidden knowledge, and once found, cannot be undone! Oh to be living in ignorant bliss again! And to be forced to take the secret to my grave! Oh the humanity! Now I know how H.P. Lovecraft feels!!!

ODD SPOT: You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.