Klingons Off The Starboard Bow!

So there we were, Saturday night at church, and it was Emma's first time too. The church was nice and warm, and Emma was quite comfortable in my arms, when she let rip a fart that lasted 20 seconds and echoed around the church during a moment of prayer! Everyone turned and looked at me! I'm pointing at the guilty bum but do you think anyone believes me, oh no, of course I like doing those sorts of things in church, especially picking the quietest time to reach the maximum audience! And then, a few minutes later, Sarah, another daughter, rips out a long one herself, but at least she says excuse me, but I still get the dirty looks! Oh man, I'm sure the priest has already talked to God about sending me to a Special Hell, one reserved for those who fart in Church. Whether it's farting in church or repeating certain words in front of crowds not fit for public consumption, children have a special knack of embarrassing parents and my kids seem well trained in it. Oh well, at least I can get revenge when their 21st birthday rocks around and I can repeat these anecdotes in a more amusing light in the fullness of time. There is a Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold!"

ODD SPOT: The first man-made item to exceed the speed of sound is the bull's hip or leather whip.